by Roger B. Rueda, PhD
Let us not kid ourselves. If English is the language of the learned,
then Philippine English is the language of the undaunted. It defies
grammar, bulldozes syntax, and mangles pronunciation—all with the confidence of
a student who forgot to study but still raises their hand in class.
Now, I have no problem with
linguistic evolution. After all, language is a living, breathing entity—unlike
some politicians I know, who, despite being politically alive, are
intellectually comatose. But when English
in the Philippines starts resembling a linguistic crime scene, complete
with the butchering of tenses and the massacre of idioms, we must draw the
line.
A
Nation of English Speakers—Sort Of
Ah, yes, we Filipinos pride ourselves on our English proficiency.
We wear it like a badge of honor, proudly declaring, “We are the
third-largest English-speaking country in the world!”—never mind that some
of us pronounce "video" as beydyow and "aircon" as
if it were a life form.
We are so creative with our English
that we have gifted the world with uniquely Filipino expressions—so unique, in fact, that only Filipinos
understand them. For instance:
“Let’s eat
first.” As opposed to what? Eating second?
Eating last? “Fill up this form.”
Are we inflating it like a balloon? No, dear reader, we fill out a form, unless the form is an empty swimming pool. “Can you repeat again?” Ah, yes,
because once is never enough. “The
traffic is so traffic!” Ladies and gentlemen, this is redundancy squared.
And then there is the greatest linguistic crime of them all:
“For a while, sir.” This is our
version of “Please hold,” usually uttered by customer service agents who then
proceed to disappear into another dimension, never to return.
Survival
of the Linguistically Fittest
To make matters worse, we have an elite breed of English speakers in our
midst—the kind who insist on "British
English" or "American English" as if they are choosing
between tea and coffee. These are the people who say, “Oh, I only use
British spelling”, yet pronounce schedule with an American accent.
Meanwhile, our local institutions have fully embraced their own linguistic
inventions:
“Masteral”
degree. This word does not exist in any
English-speaking country, but in the Philippines, it is a proud academic
milestone. “Bedspace” and “bedspacer.”
Because apparently, in this country, we do not rent rooms—we rent the air above the bed. “Aircon.” In any English-speaking
nation, this is an adjective—air-conditioned. But in the
Philippines, we have transformed it
into a noun, a verb, and possibly, a way of life.
English,
But Make It Filipino
And let us not forget our national pastime: inventing words and
pretending they belong in the dictionary.
“Traffic” – In English, this is a noun (There is heavy traffic).
In the Philippines, it is an adjective,
a noun, and possibly a state of mind (It’s so traffic!). “Topnotcher” – A word Filipinos love,
but which confuses the world. In the West, they have toppers, high scorers, valedictorians—but no topnotchers. “Colorum” – Originally Latin, but in
the Philippines, it now refers to illegal public vehicles. Because why should
Latin remain dead when we can repurpose it?
Of course, the greatest crime of all
is the phrase "I cannot cope
up." This monstrosity has no place in any civil society. You cope with something—you do not cope up unless you are trying to reach
a high shelf.
A
Plea for Sanity
Do not misunderstand me. Philippine English is a marvel, a
linguistic cocktail of creativity and resilience. But if we are to claim global competence, we must at least attempt linguistic coherence.
So the next time you hear someone
say, "I am good in English," please, for the love of Oxford,
remind them—you are good at English, not in it. Unless, of course, they
are physically standing inside an English textbook.
Let us speak English, not invent it.
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