I was carrying my bag of groceries through to the market exit door when a preaching attracted my attention. It was of a religious sect whose pastor perhaps has poor education, someone who started to preach, yet his humanity, sagacity, and sensitivity are not enough. His voice was blaring from somewhere close. It was late afternoon, so everyone was rushed off his feet. I know this is the time most pastors are busiest, too.
He was preaching a sermon on gays. He was condemning gays for who they are as if gays had a choice or it had been their choice to be one. His voice was terribly derisive. He sounded like a devil. His existence contained many levels of paradox, I thought.
I came in the jeepney parked before the market. Two passengers shifted a little as I was meaning to sit down. The senseless pastor continued his preaching. I laid my groceries behind my shins. Then I fished out some coins from my bag. ‘Bayad,’ I called out. Then I looked around. One woman was looking at nowhere with her eyebrows raised questioningly. One woman grinned, delighted at what she was hearing. I looked sullenly at everyone.
One woman beside me opened a talk. ‘So what if someone is a gay,’ she looked at me. Well, at least I got an ally, someone who does not have a blinkered view of gays. I smiled at her and got ready to listen. She continued talking to me and we discussed a lot of things about gays.
‘I need to get off now. Bye,’ I told her. ‘Sa lugar lang.’ The jeepney pulled over. I hurried along the highway, a bit upset. The preacher was still on my mind, I could still hear the echo of his voice. What hurt most was his hidebound view, the bigotry. I tried to temper my emotion, but I couldn’t.
Finally, I got home. I pulled over a chair at table in the kitchen and asked my mum to make me ginger tea. Sipping at the ginger tea, my anger faded away.
***
This year, I have had one student who is very homophobic. I was shocked to know that he was angry with me when I told him that some male models in a magazine were gays. He dropped my class the next day.I’m gay, and he knew that. But, well, never did I harass any student I have had. And I couldn’t understand his action. Did he drop my class because he was offended by what I had told him or because I am gay. If he had been offended by what I had told him, I must say that he was too defensive. If because I’m gay, well, I should have told him that if he wanted a perfect straight teacher, he should try to look for a porter (kargador). What I mean is if someone wants to have a straight ESL teacher, I think he is not serious about his studies.
Anyway, how can I change bigots? Being one is also inborn.
***
Well, of late, I have had much cogitation on gayness. I have tried to think slowly, weighing everything. But it seemed I couldn’t understand how gayness becomes a sin when it is biological and psychological.
For me, condemning homosexuality is discrimination since it is passing judgement on someone that has nothing to do with their personality. Condemning homosexuality is practically the same as condemning someone for being black, a female, short, or old. None of those qualities dictate who that person is as a human being. They are exterior traits. Homosexuality is not something people decide to be. Given the undesirable stigma that most of society places on gays and lesbians, why would anyone choose to be a homosexual? Consequently, being a homosexual is something someone is born with and they should not be condemned for. People just need to mind their own business and focus on their own issues, because no one is perfect.
Passing judgement on something that one is born with is one-sided, indefensible and should not come about. We are not Palaeolithic men anymore.
To those who say it is unusual, homosexuality occurs in more than a hundred species of animals, and of course, while we are not animals, we still don't decide who to love. That goes for anyone in any sexual orientation.
To say it is against God, where is his spiritual faith? How does he know God hates gay people? God might have changed his mind if he did before. That pastor doesn't know because God never sent him a reminder, did he? Similarly, if he’s really that bothered, let God handle it, if he has that much faith in him to sort people he hates out. He needs also to consider that religious interpretations won't always match those of someone else. I think that pastor has to study more theology, and perhaps psychology.
Homosexuals are people, we are not a sub-species of human beings, and discriminating against us would be like being bigoted against someone for their colour of their skin, or their hair, or for being born a certain sex. It's basic horse sense to treat people civilly.
Derision there aside, yes, condemning homosexuality is discriminatory and should be treated as such.
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