The Ladlad series is one of my best liked books. The books, for one, were the most visible ones during my formative years as a writer. They have made me sensitive of my orientation and understand myself. Ladlad 1 and 2 and other gay paperbacks were bought for me by my father at SM Fairview, it had not come to his knowledge though, the money I bought for the books was his very last money in his wallet. But since he did not know what I was going to pay it for, he gave his two crisp Php 1000 notes. Perhaps, he thought that I was going to buy reference books I would need come June. I went back to Iloilo City excitedly that summer of 1997, having a thought that I would not borrow my roommate’s copy of Ladlad 1 anymore. Then certainly when I arrived in Iloilo City, I was the first to have a copy of Ladlad 2, its pretty crimson cover was completely fresh and intelligently designed. I covered each of them with a sheet of plastic and took care of them so that they wouldn't be soiled or wet or crumple easily. A lot of my friends borrowed my books, especially the two books of Ladlad, and didn't bother to return them. They seemed to have forgotten to return what they got from me despite their making a promise of giving them back after a week or two. I can't imagine that their Ladlad copies were dishonestly obtained. Then they just disappeared. I don't know how it was possible for people to disappear without trace.
Having stopped hoping that my two friends would send my books back, I decided to buy new Ladlad copies. Well, since there were only newsprint copies of Ladlad 1 and 2, I did not have a choice but to get the ones in cheap, low quality paper. Actually, the reason that I was able to buy the books was that a friend of mine gave me a new, hardback edition of Harry Potter. But since I have read it already—I went to National Book Store in SM City-Iloilo the next day and had the hardback changed to Ladlad and other gay titles. Apparently, it made me stop borrowing my friend's Ladlad, I needed them then to delight in the interesting articles by my favorite writers of gay books.
Of course, the series, I believe, is a must-have to any gay Filipino writer.
Anyway, perused by me and a lot of my friends, straights and gays, several times, the Ladlad series explores the emotional life of gays in a heterosexual world; they are brilliant expositions on the gay experience. For gay readers, the enjoyment of Ladlad can be simply in seeing their lives—too often disregarded—reflected back at them on the pages of the series.
The two earlier series made me dream of becoming a writer, too. My early influences were the best contemporary writers in the country: Danton, J. Neil, Ronald Baytan, Ralph Semino Galan, and Felino Garcia. Reading them, I found out how beautiful their minds were and how imaginative they were, I had really to endeavor hard to be like them: artistic, vocal, confident, intelligent, perceptive, and fascinating. Their poems and short stories or even their essays are classics of Philippine gay literature that every Filipino gay must read and find delight in.
By living outside what are considered gender norms because of the experiences I have gotten from the Ladlad books, I now am more open to seeing across boundaries of sexual category and gain admittance to a less dualistic attitude on the nature of life. Because of Ladlad, I am far more attuned to the needs of a fast evolving society in which quickness and nimble thinking are in demand and traditional religions are beleaguered with internal conflicts, exposing inherent contradictions between organized religious conviction and the true nature of God. Thus, I am more positive of myself as a human being and as a child of God.
Eventually Ladlad made me buy Bulletin with Panorama attached to it, Free Press, and Graphic every week and Star every Sunday and Monday. I needed to follow these writers who wrote/write for these papers.
Having spent a pleasant time reading and savoring the works of the Ladlad writers, I have become a published writer, too, in some national papers and the Mantala, an NCCA anthology edited by Leoncio Deriada whose wonder is still enjoyed by me. And I have gotten into the habit of reading since then. Now I am completely crazy about Cirilo Bautista and his Breaking Signs—and Butch Dalisay, too, elsewhere after reading his Oldtimer, the best story I've ever read. I like Krip Yuson’s column, too. I have become aware of other writers, even if they are not gays. (I really love reading Merlie Alunan, I consider her the best poet of my time.)
Moreover, I began to attend writers' workshops. There I met Vicente Groyon III and Jaime An Lim. Well, recently because of the Ladlad, I have, in a way that is not obvious, published my grammar book for my university/foreign students. And since the germ of Ladlad’s influence has mutated, I now have an assemblage of English-Hiligaynon/Hiligaynon-English vocabulary in order to help students in the West Visayas in their translation work. Benefits from reading good books are often indirect, as I've realised suddenly.
In Ladlad 3, I like the rewriting of Alice in Wonderland into a poem, the gay children’s story, and the account of a beauty salon employee who is part of the underground movement. The book also contains legends, allowing the downbeat elements that traditional society and religion have placed on homosexual identity to be transformed and given a lift.
A lot of gays have suffered from the typecast that homosexuality is a terrible blight and source of sorrow and suffering, but because of the brilliant writers of peculiar sexual orientation and discovered their sexuality can also give them great elation, talent, success, and love. So, I really hold the three Ladlad books in the highest regard.
The Ladlad series showcases the many shapes and faces of being gay. And what I am now, an ESL teacher, author, and writer, is because of the Ladlad books that made me see the real persona and individual in me.
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