Friday, 27 December 2013

Beauty

by Roger B Rueda

Most Filipinos esteem beauty as it makes life more charming and fair and diverting. We are in awe of beauty in whatever we do and see. Our mind's eye is keen on beauty as perhaps it is highly enchanting and eye-catching. We are intensely eager, indeed avid, for beauty. Unmistakeably, we have generated beauty pageant machinery as every culture upholds beauty. Miss Dinagyang or Miss Sinulog or Masscara Queen or our Miss Barangay stands an example for this. Hence, this year Miss World and Miss International have been won by the Philippines. Our country has become a marque of beauty all throughout beauty pageants in the world. It’d be incongruous for the Philippines not to be on the top 10 list as Filipino beauty queens are distinctively graceful and jauntily confident and know their own mind.

The beauty pageant has become a way of life to many of us as we weave it into our life as we celebrate the beauty of life in the midst of our struggles. It gives our people individuality and style, helping them boost their morale and their true selves and implicitly raise the value of life in every way we think to be beautiful.

As a country of cataclysms and misfortunes, the Philippines has to be irrepressible and dynamic, making beauty as a means to deflect itself from the ordeal and pessimism and defeatism. It has to use beauty to overcome the dreariness of life and the desolation of its people. It has to exploit beauty to keep its difficulties and predicaments forestalled.

I watched the Miss Universe 2013 twice over. I stayed up late for Miss World 2013. For Miss International 2013, I just saw some posts of my friends on Facebook. Quite frankly, I didn’t expect that Bea Rose Santiago would make it, so I didn’t bother to keep tabs on her. I was in a state of great excitement when I read her name entered on the shortlist of 10 and 5.

I really expected much of Ariela Arida, but her gown was a jinx, a hoodoo. She had a very good answer during the Q & A, but her tawdry gown made of some cheap material withheld her of the Miss Universe crown. She looked then like a fake Barbie doll, two a penny at Jaro plaza. It was really naff. Had she been given the best gown, she could have been adjudged Miss Universe 2013. It was a wasted opportunity.

What I like of Ariela is her piercing black eyes. She looks slender-waisted, resilient, and very beautiful. Her waist-length hair lustrously cascades as she does her catwalks. She appears poised and calm.

Before the Miss World competition, I happened to see Megan Young on GGV. I had a gut feeling that she would make it. Megan Young has a captivating allure. She’s got a nice smile especially because she has very pretty straight teeth. She has a gorgeously warm speaking voice. She is a confident woman who is certain of her views. Her mouth is seductively fat and full. I love her interview on my favourite BBC. She is the embodiment of a perfect Miss World. Proud to be a Filipino, she thanked her countrymen. Then, a great cheer went up from the Filipino crowd carrying Philippine flags. It was spine-tingling. A cry of pride and happiness broke from me.

Bea Rose Santiago is dazzlingly beautiful. Her skin is clear and smooth. She also has a milky-white innocent visage. Her smile is captivating; her looks, alluring. I love seeing her wear the mikimoto crown and a woollen cape. She is more modest and shy, yet she tends to have an inner force.

I reviewed the video of Bea’s speech before the announcement of Miss International posted on Facebook. Yes, it was beautiful. It is particularly impressive. Her answer goes beyond being a beauty queen but as being a vehicle for her humanitarian intents.

Indeed, I can say that the Philippines is a beautiful country – a queendom for beauty queens.  It is a place where beauty is prestige and treasure and as a symbol of resilience and transformation to combat poverty, inequity, and conflicts. It holds women dear and as they are received with adulation and value. Giving women the opportunity to flash about their beauty is a sign that we as a country are progressive and more caring and genial.

Beauty then proves to be a catalyst for change as it uplifts the mind and the spirit, so it has to be celebrated as it buoys our optimism and compassion. It speaks of our amazement and greatest admiration. It is paying homage to God for giving us all the beauty life can bring. It is what we yearn for as a human being as no one likes to be ugly and unlikeable. It is our muse that fuels our inspiration to live life with hopefulness and contentment. It lightens our discomfort and grief. It shields us against our horror and inexorable confusion.









Friday, 13 December 2013

A Read Before You Get Soaked Standing Out in the Rain

by Roger B Rueda

‘A Rain Scene’ is another poem by Alain Russ Dimzon which I like very much. The poem won First Place in the Home Life Poetry Contest in 1999. That year my fellow Generoso Opulencia at the 41st UP National Writer Workshop got the Second Place for his poem ‘Regarding Flowers from La Trinidad.’ ‘Paper Boat’ by Ulysses Aparece got the Third Place,’ so ‘A Rain Scene’ had to face stiff competition for the First Place as the shortlisted poems that year were very agreeable and illuminating, making poetry a vicarious form of social life and human predicament and delectation. I am sure it was difficult for the judges to vacillate on them. If I had been one of the judges then, my preference and taste would have been ‘A Rain Scene,’ too.

Dimzon’s poem is striking with slim splits and text cataloguing. It is artfully light, yet it is very deep – it is not easy to get to the bottom of it in the beginning. It seems it is saying no more than the literal truth, for it had, as if it was a taxi, a thick perspex partition between the passenger (the reader) and the driver (the poet). The reader has to go over the simplicity of the poem, then he/she can start taking wing to the world of feminism and womanhood or impoverishment or social inequality or whatsoever.

There seems a contradiction between its form and connotations. It is his way, inventive and cognisant as he is, of compressing a weighty and thoughtful material into a compact poem. His style is slick and visually artless, moving me, so my great idea starts with it as it simplifies the complex.

It gives an admirably succinct account of a woman fish peddler, a mother who will do everything for her children and a widow/a single mother who has to take care of her children by herself despite her implicit feebleness and lack of education. She is left with trials and tribulations of everyday life, taken unawares when her husband died. It shows how Filipino women in the countryside or coastal areas need empowerment to be able to be more spirited and prolific, in control and clever, fearless and impervious when their husbands die or leave them for whatever reason.

It signals the need of the government to pass laws that safeguard widows and give them resources to support their families. It points out how single mothers in the Philippines are ignored because how treacherous the weather is, they have to work to feed their children, for even the basics of support cannot be given by the government, so poor widows need to go from house to house to sell their fish/vegetables/wares by nightfall. They need to bear their poverty and inattention by authorities, in solitude, though we’ve known now how the pork barrel of some legislators has been plundered by depraved government people. Was the government money used as it should be and in all conscience, no Filipino would suffer from extreme poverty, no Filipino would become down-and-out.

The widow persona in the poem is a very strong and brave woman. She ignores the blast of the roofs though it drowns her voice as she yells out. Perhaps, she chooses not to beg because she doesn’t want to be an object of pity amongst other people and her neighbours. Perhaps, she wants to meet their needs indefinitely without degrading her pride and self-respect. Perhaps, she wants to put her foot down despite bad nature and adversity, for her love for all her children is unconditional. And perhaps to her, the only all-enduring and selfless love is that of a mother for her children. The reader can only speculate the consciousness of the widow fish peddler because the poet presents the poem like a painting or a photograph – everything can be worked out through a scene, graphic and peripheral, physical and definite, cynical and plain. The effect of the poem is purely analytical and then that is the time when emotion comes in.

The woman is ‘isang-kahig-isang-tuka’ (one scratch of foot in the ground, one peck at a grain) as she hurries, tracing the neighbourhood alleys. Thus, she needs to work even if she doesn’t feel well or even if the rain is about to bucket down. When a strong typhoon like Yolanda comes, her family can be trapped by hunger for days or weeks. This is the consequence, too, of having a lot of children and when a husband dies, no one but the wife will have to shoulder all the responsibility of the deceased husband. Worst, the husband has not taken out insurance on his life, covering payment for his children’s food and education. It shows the plight of Filipino families struggling for survival because the government is unresponsive and inattentive. It doesn’t give communities means of support.

The poem works like fireworks to me. It burns attractively to the different levels of my imaginings, revealing different designs and shades of colours and delight in the obscurity of my intelligence and common sense. Its simplicity is illusory because it lights in my mind with varied insights and social and non-physical involvement or connexion.

I told you then when I reviewed Dimzon’s ‘Breakfast’ that he is a feminist, because of the number of poems he has written on women. The focal point for him is the women who are under social circumstances and how they delimit themselves mechanically (like the carabao in my poem ‘Carabaohood’) or imperceptibly or unthinkingly and how they give away/fight out for their rights.

Its word-based arrangement is very accurate, forming enigmatic formulary for such a thought and awareness, so it is inspiring and perceptible to me who loves poems similar to those published in The New Yorker. Dimzon is one of the rare poets in this country whose philosophy is very forward-thinking and artistically new.

Anyway, here is ‘A Rain Scene’:

A Rain Scene
by Alain Russ Dimzon

Under a sky
That is ripped
By lightning
And is about
To cry,
The woman
Fish peddler
Mounts a basket
On her head.
On her head
She bears
The fish
And the tonnage
Of a lost husband
And the lives
Of her children.
Yelling
With a voice
Drowned
By the blast
Of the roofs,
She hurries,
Tracing
The neighbourhood alleys.



Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Miriam

by Roger B Rueda

Allegations of brutality and smuggling and tax evasion and illegal logging and corruption have been levelled at Senator Juan Ponce Enrile by Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago. So now everyone has been particularly scathing about all these accusations. We seem to feel how foolish we are to entertain doubts, but these are heavy allegations and everything she has told in her speech can be regarded as a serious matter because though a lot say that the senator is insane, she is still high-minded and honourable: She has not been involved in the PDAF scam and all her advocacies are obviously reputable as she always takes a principled stand. She has been shown as an intelligent, courageous, and virtuous lawyer, judge, government official, and legislator. Consequently, for all her uprightness that she has shown since then, it is easy for us to consider her contentions in this era of rationality. And to judge from her productivity as a legislator, no insane woman can be as prolific as Senator Santiago has been.

As a senator, she has access to a lot of classified information. For one, there are some things that are highly classified and only circulated to a very limited group of people in this country. Thus, the role of the government is to order an investigation into all that she has said and is claiming. We can’t just turn a blind eye to what she is talking about. The government can prod her to collaborate with them as they inquire into the affairs of the people mentioned in her speech. This is yet another slur on the integrity of the people she has involved in the issue.

Miriam is Miriam. A straightforward woman, she is a political icon of millions of Filipinos, being a genuinely witty speaker to whom one could listen for hours. She talks over issues well-kept by fear and ignominy, so most of us find what she says entrancing and astounding. She speaks like a crazy woman, but it is her way to confront anathemas or propriety, which defences and precludes truth from coming out. She knows well how to tip-toe to the verge of lawful and unlawful, thoughtful and facetious, sympathetic and hostile, ceremonial and casual, and this necessitates finesse, so it makes no sense to belittle the enormity of the issues the senator is exposing. She is a super intelligent woman, but she is not a deranged woman - it is so obvious. Only a PR firm can say that to slate her or to enrage her or to make people not believe her to ruin her integrity. She knows what she is doing as she doesn’t go to absurd lengths. Her agenda is not discordant, nor are they out of time with everybody’s.

I think our country needs more Miriams. She dredges up everything that our memory as a country has expunged for years because we are forbearing, superficial, lenient, unaware, or fraidy-cat. She sounds unmannerly or coarse, but the silence of anyone in the senate is inimical to transparency and scruples and can be perfidious to the Filipino people. She is not our adversary here, for she is our defender. None of what she says and does is against us if we analyse all that she uncovers. All she told us during her privilege speech is a can of worms some people didn’t want to open, and doing so she knows the risk it poses to her life and her family. It could have appalled all of us, yet it made us realise a lot of things. It has spurred us into making an opinion or taking an action.

Silence in the Senate could be a conspiracy of silence. Santiago v Enrile considered as a cat-and-mouse game is politically expedient at best. It was revealing and has made the two senators more popular and unpopular, lovable and unlovable, good and bad. It gives everyone a fresh idea of what is happening in our country and what the government do to address the problems our politicians and some citizens are involved in. It also shows who are pursued by the government and who are not, who are implicated and who are passed over. As a legislator, she has no power to solve the problems confronting us all, but she can drop hints about what is happening in this country. It is up to the justice department to litigate. The justice department, however, could unsurprisingly political. It could be selective or spiteful or excessive.

We don’t know exactly what has incited her hatred to Senator Enrile. It could be purely political or personal – or theatrical. This is the thing we cannot be certain of. All we can do is speculate about it. It could be because of misunderstanding or because she really hates the crimes she is accusing Senator Enrile of or she is really a sincere public servant. Whatever it is, however, the Filipino people deserve truthful legislators and statesmen.

It is time that we got rid of bad politicians. We need legislators who don’t need a PDAF and who honestly legislate not for themselves and their family businesses but for all Filipinos and this country. We need politicians who advocate for the progress of everyone in this country, divulging everything in the government especially if it is anti-Filipino and deceitful, making effective laws that protect the welfare of the majority and making sure that all taxes go to tangible and useful government projects and investments. Accordingly, this country needs more squeaky clean people for the government to fight shy of sleaze and corruption and exploitation of the Filipino people and the environment.

Sad to say, we have a lot of potential legislators, but no one can follow in Senator Santiago’s footsteps, for to be like the senator, they need to understand all the laws in principle and intelligently, they need to be daring and fearless, and they need to be strong, principled politicians.

Passionately championing the Filipino people, the senator disdains politicians who are corrupt and thoroughly venal, and we are lucky to have her in the Senate. She is a trustworthy and no-nonsense leader, for even her jokes and anti-jokes have social and political ramifications for everyone. We can’t change her deportment and her general demeanour, for an institution herself, she is a woman of great personality. All we can do is love her or hate her or ignore her but never change her.
















Sunday, 1 December 2013

Alpha

Fiction by Roger B Rueda

Alpha was a shy, quiet-spoken girl. When we were classmates at primary school, she was always polite and respectful. She never had an ambition, though. She wisely contented herself with her family and her love of nature. All of eighteen, her turf was their farm. Seldom would she go to Iloilo City. She seemed very innocent.

At weekends, she would go to the sugarcane field and pick tinôtinô, or she would go with her cousins and they would bite sugarcane off a bit.  She also liked eating bananas.

We would romp happily around the mounds of hays whenever she invited us to their house. I would throw hays at our other classmates.

Her family spent a lot of time rearing free-range chickens. Sometimes, her mother would cook us nice meals. I liked her chicken adóbo and  tinúla of chicken and green papaya.

Alpha and I remained friends until high school and even college. She did mass communications at a local college; I, creative writing in another city. She became very talkative. Her skirts were knee-skimming and flirty. She told me that she had been idolising Vega, the daughter of their neighbour, when one time we met at my grandmother’s house, which was along the road to their house on the farm. Vega grew more rebellious because her father left them when they were all young. Her mother’s permissiveness towards Vega and her siblings reflected the wild abandon of her own life.

Vega was marvellously cool, so Alpha, then a young innocent girl, admired the way she had coped life.

She’d got a lot of boyfriends. She’d flirt outrageously. She was very open in her attitudes about sex. Her parents, though, didn’t know what she was doing in their community.  Her parents were naïve and innocent. They were both illiterate.

I was speechless with shock when she showed me her chest full of kiss marks. She became a tart. She would go to the ROTC building all alone in the night to meet some guys there. Young men didn’t respect her, so I wondered a lot. When we took a tricycle to the busy plaza, the driver refused to take our fare, but rather he poked her in the ribs.

Alpha was deflowered by Vega’s brother, Manny, also a rebellious brat.She had a crush on him since she was all of ten, so when Alpha was all alone he pulled her to their house, which was also along the road to Alpha’s house. She never resisted him though she already knew that he might rape her. He was sort of a maniac. But to Alpha, it was an opportunity to have a relationship with Manny though she knew it wouldn’t be going anywhere.

I thought that Alpha only behaved stupidly. She had been a smart woman, and now she was perceived as vain, spoilt, and promiscuous. All her friends and classmates knew it. She just disregarded her friends’ advice to her. She wanted a different path and so she went and studied all alone.

One of her friends locked her and raped in the toilet in school. The man was trying to blackmail her into doing whatever he wanted.She was afraid that some photographs of her in the nude might be circulated all over the campus, it would really embarrass her and her family.

***

It was only an hour or so later that her father Lando discovered that Alpha was missing.The unexpected and sudden realisation briefly panicked Alpha’s family. Her father walked to the street corner and waited for her. It was late in the evening.

Lando seemed very worried. He couldn’t explain why he was feeling that way, however.

He and his wife walked in silence for some while. They kept a vigil in front of their house.  His voice trembled with emotion.

The next day dawned sombre and gloomy: Alpha came within minutes of bleeding to death after her wrists were slashed.She told her parents that she was held down and raped by their neighbours, while she was walking a few steps to their house. She couldn’t let out a scream because they gagged her mouth with a towel. She was trying to resist it, but her might was not enough: she was weak to move. Three men raped her, according to her. She seemed to be crying with anger and frustration.

Lando almost ran amok as soon as he heard that news from his daughter. It seemed that bombs fell in the town. He became a chaotic sort of person.

An hour later, two policemen arrived on foot. They immediately arrested the three young men in connection with the rape complaint. That came as a shock to three young men. They arrived in court handcuffed to two police officers.They became an embarrassment to their parents, who were professors of the university.

They were detained by the police after further questioning. Their case was a heinous crime and they had a slim chance to be in the clear. Alpha’s family, most of them lawyers, vouchsafed to help. Actually, because they had the same family name.

For months, there had been no talks between parties. Manny’s mother was depressed, and she’d do everything so long as her son would be cleared. She was willing to pay any amount, even if that’d mean borrowing money from a lending firm.

Alpha’s family were terribly cross. It seemed that they wouldn’t agree with any settlements the other party would offer.

Being poor was the other reason that they couldn’t just agree with anything. It was an insult to their whole family if they would just give in. So, the three young men had to be sent down. Or else, they’d no face to show in the town.

***
A year later, the three young men were seen at the university. Everyone was shocked to see them. Never had they seen Alpha since then. The remembering of her was thin to the point of non-existence.There was a lull in her life after what happened.

They all had agreed to try to settle their dispute by negotiation.Alpha had demanded a million peso-settlement. The three suspects then had been released from detention.

Their life continued as normal. They felt, though, incredibly ashamed of themselves for being indicted on a rape charge.What had happened ruined their reputation as it brought disgrace upon them.

Years later, the three started a family. All of the men left the village except for Manny, who was a philanderer, and he was quite brazen about his life, it didn't worry him.

***
The family left the farm, their landlord had sacked them. They moved to a nipah house near the highway. A year later, the simple house transformed to a mansion, the biggest so far in the town.

A woman alighted from a limousine. She walked into the municipal hall. It was only six months before the election that Alpha announced she would run for mayor.

She had been making substantial donations to charity. A lot of poor students were going to college on her scholarship. About three thousand people held a rally to support her candidacy. Nobody had known who Alpha Focker was. All they had known was she was just a public spirited woman.

Alpha’s coming completely altered the political landscape of the town.

A big banner was draped across one of the streets saying, ‘Welcome Ms  Alpha Focker.’

It seemed that everything that had happened to Alpha was likely to sink into silence.





Wednesday, 9 October 2013

The Crab in Smallville (Iloilo City)

a poem by Roger B Rueda

I watched the black crab crawl across the floor,
towards my feet, which I lifted
when it was almost near.
It gave me a startled look, its large claws
moving slothfully.
I sipped from my coffee mug,
watching it over the rim.
My friend gave a deep rumbling laugh
upon seeing it, his voice strangely nervous.
It moved to a dry corner, its shell
almost dry and covered in dust.
I bit into my biscuit.
A concert was just across the road,
its music lively and recognisable.
I almost forgot the crab.
All of a sudden, it scurried to the road
and hid at a plant pot.
We turned our attention to the crab again.
It wanted to cross over.
Twice over it crept away but backed off in horror
when passers-by were drawing near.
As I stared at it I felt my throat go dry.
My friend and I were looking
at it nervously as it hung about
on the road.
Then it was all over in the blink of an eye.
We heard a loud crunchy sound
from the road and our hearts
as a tyre of a passing taxi
crushed it unknowingly, smoothly.
My friend said, ‘It’s got a new life.
It must be thankful to the taxi.
That life was boring.’ I nodded
as I hounded the place where he was coming from.



Sunday, 6 October 2013

Mary

fiction by Roger B Rueda

Mary was standing near my classroom. She was talking to a colleague.

‘Hello Pax,’ she greeted me. Mary was the only friend who called me Pax. All my friends would call me Pas (short for Paciano).

‘What’s that?’ I asked. I then opened the envelope. I looked at her and congratulated her. ‘I’m happy for you, Meyr.’ She smiled her thanks.

She then left my room. I knew she was too busy.

***
The last time I met Mary was at Sbarro before she left for Korea. She treated me and my friends to some pizza.

‘So what would happen to your case,’ I asked.

Her lawyer smiled. ‘I’ll handle it.’ He was handsome and very young.

I lifted my glass and poured myself some lemonade.

***

Mary was a tutor at a Korean school in Makati: She was abruptly let go of the school managing director, Vil, because she had got married to her ex-student. Vil had imposed the rule that no teachers should engage in such a relation. To her, that was unethical. I agreed. Everybody agreed. There must have been some who didn’t agree, but what could they do? What could they do was to murmur or knit their brows when no one was around.

In Mary’s case, however, it was difficult to know if it was Mary’s thoughtful doing or not. Well, how could I? Only Mary knew what really had happened. For one, she was Mary and I was I. The point was it was difficult to tell whether Mary was telling the truth or not. That way, in my opinion, was a thing I could not consider or weigh. The basis of it was out of sight for it was in the minds of the two persons involved – in Mary’s and her husband’s. Only the two of them knew the truth of everything. But not telling me or anyone was their right, perhaps, to protect themselves – or because there was really nothing to tell.

I understand why Vil was against Mary’s marriage. She had suspected Mary then and had been vigilant about her, yet the thing she couldn’t accept was she failed to stop the relation. For years, she had been successful in stopping all relations which she thought unethical, un-Korean. But in Mary’s case, she failed to. That made her extremely upset and irrational. The rule that she had made was useless, so it made her resort to some unfounded actions, using her power. She let go of Mary although it was illegal to do so. Technically, Mary couldn’t be fired because she had never violated any school rule. The rule was clear and a Grade One student can almost understand that being a current student is different from an ex-student. And I’m sure about it, no dictionary will agree with it. The concept is very elementary.

Mary got married to her ex-student. What was wrong about it? The rule was clear that a tutor could not get married to her/his student. But Mary didn’t marry her student. She got married to her ex-student of two years ago. If there was something or someone to blame for that, it should have been the rule or the one who had made the rule. It was all her/his fault. She/he should have anticipated such a problem. The case of Mary was a slur to his/her astuteness, if she/he had.

The reason, for me, why such a rule was made is very hypocritical. Vil was a Christian and all she wanted was a Christian image.  A Christian image to her was her life. What she had was because she was a Christian. She received supports from Korea because she was a Christian even only by name. All her actions were obviously to promote her image as a Christian, but not because she really wanted to help or to be kind and charitable. Actually, if Vil had a choice she wanted to be a Satanist, but in Korea being a Christian meant  a lot. If Vil had not been a Christian, she couldn’t have been chosen as managing director of the school. I was not stupid to notice that kind of behaviour.

If Koreans had known what Mary did, her school reputation would have become unpopular. That was her reason why she was upset about Mary’s marriage. But it was her fault why a lot of people knew about Mary’s marriage. She made it big. Her reaction was too much that even those people who hadn’t known about Mary wondered about Mary. So the marriage of Mary to her ex-student became the talk of the town. So, whose fault was it? Mary’s?

Vil was an envious woman. I knew her well. So, another reason I could speculate was that she was envious of Mary. Her ex-boyfriend was a Filipino and was far much handsome than her husband, who was so ugly, inside and outside. Perhaps, she married him for money. She was poor and at the end of her tether. So it was her envy that could have been the cause of all her annoyance and difference.

She didn’t like people to be happy. She came from a broken family in Korea, so seeing people happy, especially a family, would hurt her.  She lived her life in sullen, resentful silence. She lived her life paradoxically, in lies. Her mother was in a mental hospital. Her father was a beggar.  She didn’t want to help them, so how could she be kind to others when she could close her eyes to her own parents.

I decided to support Mary because Vil was attacking Mary based on the cause which I could not see and which she could not see, either. There was no clear evidence that Mary had violated the rule. For lack of evidence, I think my decision was right. We can only judge someone or something based on significant information or proofs. How could I judge Mary then? What rule should I use? None so far. What I could do was speculate. But, legally, speculating is unacceptable. No sound person can accept any foolishness when it comes to presenting an argument sensibly. One doesn’t need to be a lawyer to understand this.
Mary sued Vil.

Some of my colleagues supported Mary. Some didn’t. Most of them were fraidy-cats. It was obvious that to them money was everything. If a person didn’t have money, to them she/he was rubbish, and what should they do with rubbish? They acted fool and stupid just to justify their decision. They even forgot their friendship with Mary. Some of them attended Mary’s wedding. Seeing themselves in the pictures of Mary’s wedding was an embarrassment they kept in themselves because the pictures were the proofs of their treachery and spinelessness. Those were ridiculous photographs. They even posted them on Facebook. Actually, what they wanted about the photographs was for social reason. One of Mary’s friends had an illusion that she had a Japanese boyfriend. She didn’t know that people around her were laughing at her obvious lies.

Some of Mary’s colleagues were envious of Mary. Mary was far much smarter and prettier than them. Some were obviously not Mary’s friends for some reasons. So it was justifiable why they didn’t support Mary. Their competence was dubious and only they could be seen without Mary. No students would like them unless the students would have no choice.

One gay, the most senseless gay I had met, hated Mary because he was not even invited to Mary’s wedding. Pitiful, right? How could Mary invite him? He thought he was Mary’s friend when in fact never did Mary consider him as a friend. Well, for me he didn’t exist, anyway. Most friends of mine told me he was not worth my attention and time, but I didn’t listen to them. Well, my friends were right. He was useless. In the world of friendship, he was a UFO. When someone needed help, never could he help him/her. He was literary and virtually useless. He existed for himself, not for anyone else. He hated people for no reason at all.

It took weeks for me to decide whether I should support Mary or not, in my case. I had been working for the school for almost a decade, so I thought I needed to be loyal to Vil.  But how could I be loyal to her? Her actions were obviously selfish. She didn’t value loyalty. She didn’t even value competence. To her, what were important were herself and her pride. She hated people who were far much better than her, who were far much prettier than her.  She hated people who complained against her.  She would rather choose politics more than capabilities and abilities just to preserve her power, which is wrong, which is inconsistent to why there is a school, why a teacher teaches.

If a Christian, the one we see in church every Sunday, doesn’t want to pay the right taxes of her/his worker, do you think that that Christian is a real Christian? Vil didn’t like to pay the right amount of taxes. She told me that taxes went to the pockets of corrupt officials. She had a terrible opinion of Filipino politicians and the Philippine government. Her husband told me that most Chinese Filipino businessmen in Makati didn’t pay the right amount of taxes, neither did he, when he confronted me one time. I was shocked to hear it. And I didn’t know how he could say that. I told him that it was his speculation, but he told me it was true. Really? If so, the government needed to investigate it, I told him. He changed his tone. He changed the way he confirmed it, it was a bit uncertain then.

Vil was a proud woman. She would lie to protect and save her power. She made use of Korean language to destroy her tutors. If the tutors were incompetent, she would promote them. If the tutors were very competent and were brimming with skills, she would criticise them in front of students. One time, Vil told me that my student didn’t like my class anymore, and she told my student that I didn’t like him anymore to be in my class. I was shocked to know that. When I confronted my student, he told me what Vil had told him, so I also told him what Vil had told me. Vil even told some students that I didn’t like to study at 4 PM because it was my rest time. Two students told me that Vil had told them that. See how terrible Vil at manipulating the truth and changing it to her lie.

The tutors who supported Mary were let go by Vil. To protect her reputation, Vil thought up a lie to hide her wicked doings. She always told students that the tutors she let go were bad. I was very upset when some students told me about what she told them about me and the other tutors. I realised how Vil manipulated everything. The worst was she even manipulated the owner. The owner was like a stupid owner who followed what Vil told him. He didn’t even know what happened. All he did was believe Vil. To him, Vil was an angel. So I looked at the owner of the school as the stupidest owner I’d ever known. Perhaps, he knew what Vil was doing, and he really liked it because his image was kind and charitable and Vil did the bad thing for him, to save his angelic reputation. Or he was just really stupid.  Or he didn’t care about other people for all he cared was money and money and money.

All the close students of mine told me about what Vil told them about me and my friends. At first, it was shocking to know that, but as time went by, I realised how wicked Vil was. What she thought was wickedness  endlessly.  I thought she deserved to be called the daughter of the devil and Vil hated that fact. So every day, when I chatted with my ex-students, we would talk about how wicked Vil was. They told me that they would tell all their friends how terrible Vil was and her husband.

I thanked Mary for being a bold woman.  I also appreciated my colleagues who supported Mary. I disdained the tutors who were liars, and chicken. I hoped they would be happy in the hands of a devil feeding them every day. I didn’t understand why they hated us when what we did was nothing against them. The best thing they should have done was to keep quiet. So I called it stupidity or lack of wisdom.
My prayers were for Mary. I hoped that Vil would be punished by God for her wickedness.

When I was alone, I would look at the souvenir, a crystal flower, which I got on Mary’s wedding day. She got married in Bulacan. Mary was from Bulacan and all her family attended her wedding. It was a memorable wedding to Mary and some of my colleagues.

I lost my job, but I was happy. God opened another opportunity for me and my friends. And so I told them we should plant the mango pulps and wait until they bore fruits.

No one understood me. For then, yes. But later I said they would.

‘Hello Pax,’ a friend called out my name. I turned my head left and right. I couldn’t believe my eye. Mary was back with her daughter in pram. We kissed each other hello.

I would go to Ayala Triangle Gardens when I wanted to distance myself from the everyday hustle bustle when I wanted to relax, unwind, and get in touch with nature.

Mary and I sat on the bench and nattered away.







Thursday, 19 September 2013

The Three Pufferfish on Islas de Gigantes

a poem by Roger B Rueda

They move through seawater like dry leaves,
their mouths supping the sharpness
of water on rocks, their fins
so dusky grey.
I kneel and scoop one after another
into my palms.
They puff out their fat middle
and let out a lungful
of cool breath,
grey balloons come out in the twinkling  of an eye.
I think of phobias
as I am shivering with fear.
I take them to a small plastic bottle
whose water I’ve poured out
and filled with seawater.
The fish swim in as if they bolted;
the three seem talking about the strangeness
and overpowering force –
or perhaps their shared mindfulness
and terror
are held by their muteness.
Our boat goes to another island.
The fish move their body
through the water in the bottle,
gulping air into their gills.
I am praying in my mind
the fish stay alive.
I am deeply nervous that the fish
die once we come to the island –
the fish look particularly frail.
I keep an eye on them tensely.
Finally, our boat moors on the island.
I go down and let out the fish,
the morning very radiant
and the water warm and pellucid.
In silence, the three fish swim their life
to a new abode, wrenching my imagination
to the force of the unfamiliar, of the arcane.






Sunday, 15 September 2013

Douglas

fiction for children by Roger B Rueda

Douglas’s mother, Coring, was often cross at his rudeness. So, when his father, a Korean, told his mother that he’d go on vacation to Busan the next week, she suggested that Douglas visit Korea, too. He had to go to live with his father’s kin. He had not experienced this kind of holiday before, so Coring thought it’d be nice if Douglas knew, too, some Korean things and culture. He was all of six and he seemed to be very Filipino rather than being a Korean.

Douglas had erratic Korean. At home, the family spoke Tagalog, Korean, and a little English. He went to a Chinese school in Makati, so he was quite a multilingual boy.

Everywhere he went, a mischievous child, he would rock back and forth in his chair. His teacher would shout at him. He was a wicked and obstinate boy. He would sometimes pull his classmate’s hair. His candy or chocolate wrappers would litter anywhere. He’d swear at his classmates and run off. He would keep his classmates’ bags in the santan hedge. He would smile at other kids impishly. He was very noisy and boisterous. He would coax his classmates into clambering over sacksful of jackfruits at the back of the school building or catching bugs holing up underneath the firewood.

After chewing his bubble gum, he would stick it underneath the arm of his chair. He would kick the kittens or puppies hard. One time, he was bitten by a pooch as he was quite liable to be.

He removed the gills of all the fish in the aquarium in his teacher’s room. All the fish were floating lifeless in the fuchsia water. His teacher, when she saw it, suddenly fell forward on to the table and fainted. His mother scolded him for that, but he was a spoilt brat.

Every summer, usually, Douglas would spend his vacation in Davao, with his maternal grandparents, who were nettled by his manner. He was getting bored with Davao, perhaps. So that summer, Douglas was excited on a trek through the Busan shops. Finally, he met some kids of Korean descent. But sometimes he’d have a terrible quarrel with them. They would squabble over some toys and knickknacks.

One day, he was in a room with a load of drunken men who had been boozing all afternoon. One of them was his father, Minwoo. One waitron served the boy stew. He took his time and ate slowly. He liked the taste. It was surprisingly good, he thought. It was a bit hot, spicy, and sweet at the same time.

‘What was that?’ he asked.

‘Boshintang,’replied the man.

‘What is boshintang?’ He’d never heard it from his father.

‘Dog, dog stew’ came a cheerful replied from the man.

His eyes seemed slightly widened. He seemed surprised that he’d eaten dog. He thought eating dog was just a joke. He started to believe then that everything was possible if people wanted it enough.  He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled amazingly at the waitron.
He took his camera and asked the man to take a picture of dog stew. When he arrived home, he uploaded his pictures on his Facebook. His mother was the first to like it. But his kindergarten classmates teased him, tongue in cheek. He goaded them in response.

But since then Douglas had become a dog epicure. For months, he would run up and tug at his father’s sleeve excitedly every afternoon when his father met his friends downtown. Minwoo was a bit of a boozer. He liked drinking shochu with dog. His parents raised dog for meat.

Sometimes, Douglas observed how the dogs were butchered and their meat was hung to dry from the ceiling. The smell of the stew had become his favourite.

When his father and Douglas came back to Makati, the boy asked his father to build a hutch so that they could raise dogs and have a supply of fresh dog. At first, his mother disagreed with eating dog in general. She fell out with her husband, but she failed to convince her husband and her son. She was devoted to her family although they would squabble now and then.

The next day, Minwoo came home, bringing three mongrel puppies with him. Coring was watching a documentary on Arirang, lunch ready on the table. She had been brought up to tend to the needs of her younger siblings, and now she was good at tending Minwoo. Their house had been meticulously cleaned.

‘Oh, look at these puppies! They’re so cute,’ told Minwoo. Coring listened, her expression from poker-faced to blank. The Korean man asked for ice for his beer and proceeded to get contentedly drunk, while the puppies drifted off into a fitful sleep.

‘Lunch’s ready!’ She reminded Minwoo coldly.

Her husband just nodded and smiled. His boutique business was doing fine.

When Douglas arrived with her nanny, he saw the puppies. He took them out of the box. He lifted them out one by one and laid them on the floor. The puppies were reluctant to walk. He looked at them, almost slobbering. He thought of dog stew.

‘Papa, when can I eat them?’ asked Douglas.

‘Anytime, but let them mature first,’ his father rubbed his head tenderly, looking affectionately at him.

‘I want it now,’ he began laughing and giggling as he hugged his father, his father tickling him. The house was filled with their voices from the kitchen.

***

One evening, all at once, Douglas metamorphosed into a dog and emerged onto the street. He rose yelping and bolted into the greeneries. He heard himself gasp and cry out. His arms were tired, and his back was tense. He yawned, and stretched lazily. Well along, under the trees, he heard no further sounds. He felt asleep.

His deep sleep was disturbed when three dogs were trying to escape from dog-eaters who were making determined efforts to catch the dogs.

Douglas ran off, too, losing his nerves. He joined the dogs, the dogs his family were raising in the hutch.
He was afraid of them initially. He was shaking and deeply in shock.

‘I’m Douglas. I’m not a dog. I’m so shocked to see that I have become one.’ They four walked through the dense bush for hours. He took a breather. The other dogs, too.

The three dogs looked at him. Their legs were pitifully thin compared to the rest of their bulk. They maintained a kind of meekness. Douglas sat speechless with confusion, gazing into the sky.
‘Please talk to me.’ Douglas was a dog which desperately needed an answer to what had become of him.

The three dogs lapped the saliva from his snout, his eyes filled with tears.

‘I’m Yotot.’ The black dog started to speak.

‘I’m Maya,’ said the brown bitch.

‘I’m Odi.’ The third dog was painfully shy of other dogs. It was black with white front paws and a white splotch on its chest.

It was quite a shock to see dogs speak, for Douglas. But he asked them a lot of questions. They shared stories about them.

‘How come that I’ve become a dog.’ Douglas was intensely curious about the world he had now. But no one knew the answer. All they knew was that they, too, were kids then.

Going hungry for days, they got lost and strayed into dangerous areas. Douglas was too weak to move or think or speak. Maya scavenged through garbage. The two other dogs scavenged the bones.
‘Shoo, dogs, shoo.’ Some people avoided dogs. Sometimes, they stoned them to leave.

Towards the evening, the four dogs tried to rest their exhausted body under an elastic awning, all lying motionless. Their situation created a very special bond between them.

At dawn, they woke to find the dark place lit by flashing lights. They were sitting huddled, cornered by dog-eaters.

Douglas got very upset and screamed and swore, throwing tantrums all over the gin. He let out a string of roaring barks. One dog-eater whipped him with studded belt. He felt a sharp pain in his lower back and that caused him to settle down.

The other dogs were taken out of the gin. Their legs were tied and mouths, muzzled. They cried with fear and vulnerability. Douglas stared with a long, doleful look of disbelief. He felt a sudden tender pity for them.

One dog-eater whacked two of the three dogs on the head, causing them to spurt blood. They croaked quickly. The other dog and Douglas were in the lurch, too. He went rigid with fear, expelling   a lot of urine.

The men lifted out the other dog and sold it to another dog-eater. Douglas was held in reserve for tomorrow’s boozing. He lay stock-still, calm, his eyes weary. The uncanny situation unnerved him more.
‘Douglas, what should I do?’ it woofed worriedly.

Douglas didn’t say anything. Douglas pierced the gin with his canine teeth, on the quite. When the hole was big enough for him to escape, Douglas tore off down the street. He looked around searchingly. He was scared stiff of the dog-eaters whose faces with drooping moustaches. One man had the words ‘Dora loves Spiderman’ tattooed on his left shin.

The dog-eaters gave chase and began to shoot Douglas at point blank range with an automatic rifle. There was so much blood it had soaked through his white fur.

The dog-eaters hoisted and flung him to the ground, bleeding profusely. He had lain awake all night, tormented by Maya’s yowling, as the place throbbed with dog cries.

***

Douglas was sitting huddled on the floor shivering with fear. The room was silent except for his sobbing. His mother, Coring, entered the room briskly and gave him a hug, the barking of Maya resonating in his head still. He gave a sudden cry of pain and put his hand to his heart.

He felt his arms. His skin was clear and smooth. His spell was gone, he thought.

‘Mama, I’ll never ever eat dog,’ he said to his mother in a throaty voice. Hurriedly, he ran to see his three dogs in the hutch. His face relaxed into a happy smile when he saw the three dogs were alive. He released them selflessly, with emotion. The dogs started going ‘woof woof’ and sprang as Douglas undid the hutch door. They wagged their tails on tenterhooks.

‘Mama, meet Yotot, Maya, and Odi.’ The dogs rose awkwardly to his feet and licked Douglas's hands excitedly. They went deathly pale, but he promised to nurse them back to health because then it was only his nanny who had fed the dogs. He swept his arms over his friends’ shoulders as if they knew each other very well. He was very sorry about all the selfishness and inhumaneness he'd done. He petted and smoothed their fur.

***

Back home, he’d play with, feed, and bathe the dogs. Douglas and his parents would spend their weekend walking the dogs around their local streets. As a schoolboy, he dreamed of becoming a veterinarian and animal rights activist one day. Sometimes, the family would bring along pieces of bread or bones from a barbecue restaurant after eating out and feed their pets. The cynophiles also became very solicitous of all animals around them.

Douglas was planning to visit his grandparents in Busan and convince them to stop eating dog. For now, he wrote them a letter, telling them how shameful eating dog was. Attached to his letter were colourful pictures and drawings of his dogs and their family.

He also started to write his story and of his dogs so that kids around the world would be acutely aware that dogs had been human beings in their past lives.

He was expecting his father to publish it before long because now only his classmates and schoolmates could see and read his storybook his mother and he had made by hand.




Thursday, 18 July 2013

What Is A Poem?

an essay by Roger B Rueda

I started writing a poem when I was all of seventeen. Actually, I tried writing poems when I was all of thirteen, but according to my poetry mentor, Dr Leoncio Deriada, they were not poems, they were rubbish. My poems rhymed perfectly and every line of them was flawlessly cut. How come they were not poems, I asked myself. How come those poems in Home Life, where Dr Deriada was the poetry editor, had been published, I thought. Mine sounded like of Shakespeare. Possibly Dr Deriada just didn’t like me, I began to justify the rejection. The thing I wanted to avoid was my piece might be discussed in his monthly column in Home Life. I hated criticism then and I wouldn’t have known what to do if he had picked my piece.

One day, when I was at university, I received a letter from Dr Deriada. He wanted me to see him. The next day, I met him at the Sentro ng Wikang Filipino. He looked simple yet witty. When he started to speak, I fell in love with his mind. Dr Deriada is a brilliant teacher. It was he who has made me think more cogently and realistically.

‘Roger, a poem suggests; it never states.’ He then took a piece of paper and wrote what he had just told me. ‘Have you read the poem The Golf Links?’ he asked me. ‘No, sir,’ I honestly told him. ‘It is by Sarah Cleghorn,’ he continued.  He wrote the poem on the same paper he had taken out. The poem was so short, I noticed. ‘It is so short, but it is a poem. And that is how a poem should be written,’ the old man said to me. I felt lost.  My receptiveness was very poor at that time. When I went home, I began to ruminate on it. Then all of a sudden I was afraid to write a poem because what I had written were not poems but rubbish. What I did was I catalogued the words in line fragments and arranged them like those of a poem. I loved writing abstruse ideas, something nobody can understand. All I thought that the more my reader couldn’t understand my poem, the better poet I would be.

The next week I started to write a simple poem, The Golf Links as my inspiration. The poem is titled Angels in the Street: abandoned by their gods/ these little angels/ walk and beg/ their wings are gone/ their clothes so white/ have turned black/ they will grow up/ into demons. Dr Deriada edited the poem. He pruned some long lines until the poem became very short. ‘This is how your poem should look like,’ he advised me. After two months, my poem appeared in Home Life, yet I couldn’t understand what a poem really is. I wrote and wrote, which he always advised me when I met him. I felt good, seeing my poems published in Home Life.

In 1997, I had my poems published in Panorama. I gradually weaned myself off seeing Dr Deriada on to editing my own writing. In 2000, he anthologised my poems in Mantala, a publication published by NCCA. In 2002, I was named Fellow for Poetry to the 41st UP National Writers Workshop.

So what is a poem? Now it’s 2013 and I guess for years of searching for its meaning and importance, I’m ready to tell tenderfoots what I have discovered.

A poem is The Golf Links by Sarah Cleghorn: ‘The golf links lie near the mill/That almost every day/The labouring children can look out/And see the men at play.

A poem could also be my poem Dagmayhood: Water, earth, or rays are superfluous to it./Deep down in the core, come hell/ or high water,  something pushes,/then parched curls of the corm tingles,/and that something starts to lay out,/makes space for a sprout to shift up/ through all the coats that have moulded/ bit by bit, one about the other,/for a spell long past remembering,/and set off the outer skin  dry russet,/ to tore asunder and chip off. /Inside, the core kips - up to that instant, /unidentified, cryptic, when it stirs, rouses,/calls on the root and sends /new shoots  skyward headed for the glow.

A poem could also be my other poem Mangoes: Don’t pluck a stalk of green mangoes /from the tree –/then I was only ill once/ and that came /of eating unripe mangoes./They were acrid /even with honey./Always choose/firm, but ripe mangoes./Wait about –/they’ll fall when they become fully grown.

A poem is Airs Poetica by Denver Ejem Torres: A poem is that thing behind a fly./ That thing here I will explore/ because it is the desire of the groins/ of my mind. That thing excites,/ charms, invites. It is beautiful/ whether it's up in the air/ or sleeping on a brown branch./ A poem indeed it is if it is/ as big, bold and brave/ as the Philippine Serpent Eagle/ that stands on its own/ and goes beyond its black nest./ Well, if the Black Shama/ can sing a haiku, I may like it too./ A poem shall make me want to steal it/ and give me the desire to desire./ It shall be covetable,/ like a banana to a bird./ A poem must fly me/ beyond grasslands and chaparrals./ It has to have a border,/a breakable, penetrable border./ A poem, more importantly,/ must convince and can make/ a man say yes to the offer:/ If I write you this poem, /will you open your fly?    

A poem is Water (for B.) by Danton Remoto: For you, my lover, I will be like water./ I will be Lock Lomond flowing/ in loneliness from Ardlui to Arden./ I will be the Falls of Dochart hurling itself/ down the hills of Breadalbane,/ the rocks rumbling with my cascading force/ I will be the rain, slanting/ over Stirling in needles tiny as pores./ I will be snowflakes drifting/ From the Orkney to the Isle of Skye,/ falling in silent fury, as if focusing themselves/ in the cold eye of memory./ For you, my lover, I will be like water.

Thus, a poem makes claims on our lives or enacts historical, social, literary, and spiritual awareness, while remaining grounded in the multiple facets of our lives.

A poem is something that defamiliarises the well-known. It is taut and elegant in its unfolding, yet not overwrought or overtly inventive.

A poem delves into underexplored areas or risks saying the unsayable. A poem exhibits rich moments of figuration. A poem is conscious of rhythm and meaning.

For years, I’ve realised that poetry is a place of interconnection, where mind and body, self and other, innermost and exterior, may come across. And so I see poetry not as an endeavour to truthfully portray an involvement already known but as the making of a new familiarity that presses into some place not yet recognised. I write poems when I am mystified, stimulated, suffering, questioning, uncentred. The poem tries to answer that mystification, to expand the periphery of what I can know and understand; in that long-drawn-out understanding what was shimmering at the fringe can now come into the fundamental. A good poem is fairly like a volcanic islet. It produces new landscape of my depth.

One time, it just came as lightning and it lit it up in my mind. I then began to think that a poem is meant to be shared, discussed, misunderstood or understood, but always contemplated. Not by the educated or uneducated, or the high or the low, but by the reader existing as a contemplative, thoughtful being.

As a poet, I believe that poems deimpossibilise human liberty by allowing the alchemical fire of unheard-of imageries melt the walls of reified realisation, in so doing at one hit obliterating the captivity of the mind and raising the dangers in the struggle to resolve the ambiguity between ordinary life and the marvellous.

So what is a poem? I hope you’ve got the answer. I know it is not easy, but try reading a lot of poems and writing one, and trying means not once – it could be one hundred times.



Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Some New Words for July 2013

an essay by Roger B Rueda

Words are like a living creature, capable of developing, moving, spreading, and influencing the world in many ways, directly and indirectly through others. They have power, energy, and influences. They create peace and inspiration in our lives. They can encourage or discourage, slander or uplift, so we need to use them wisely. We need to keep them as pets in the home of our mind. We need to love them and know the every detail of their gist and nuance.

As I think about the power of the word to enflame and divide, to calm and connect, or to make and effect change, I’m ever more careful about what I say and how I listen to the words around me.

As a writer, I see the impact of words I choose on the world around me and my own favouritisms, predispositions, and discriminating consideration of the words I hear.

Lately, I have found the word ‘accubation.’ It is the practice of eating or drinking while lying down. I love eating bread while lying especially in the morning after waking up, so I think I can express myself with the word. I don’t know  why  I’m getting lazy these days. I love eating while lying down. Possibly, because of my chikungunya. Do I have? Hahaha

When I’m not satisfied with my new haircut I cut my hair after I get home. Because of this, I can be considered as an autotonsorialist, a person who cuts his own hair. Such a pretty word, right? Being a wordie, I think it is. I’ve heard some haircutters are autotonsorialists.

In Manila when I was all of six, our neighbour gave us frog. I wanted to eat it, but my grandmother stopped me. Now I wonder how frog tastes. I’ve learned that our neighbour is an Ilocano, and most Ilocanos are batrachophagous.  They really love eating frog.

A person has cagamosis if she has an unhappy marriage. So if she divorces him and gets married to another person, that marriage is called digamy. If her spouse dies, and she gets married again, such marriage is also called digamy.

If teachers hit their students, they can be sued these days. Hitting students is called dippoldism. Psychologically, it isn’t good for children. Traditional teaching methods sometimes only succeeded in putting students off learning. It can traumatise children. Teachers who did it must have gone insane.

One who fakes a smile, as on television is called eccedentesiast. Most Kapuso stars are good at this. Dennis Trillo has a very good skill in it. Carla Abellana, too. I think soaps need more eccedentesiasts for the sake of the audience, who are getting more fastidious about good acting. Our friends or colleagues who tend to be reluctant when it comes to displaying genuine emotion are also called eccedentesiasts.

We call the state of being stuffed with food (overeating) as farctate. I hate it because I don’t feel good when I’m too full, especially when I'm stuffed to the gills. It is an unhealthy habit I need to avoid. Fiestas, parties, holidays are the perfect season for farctate dinners and whatnot.

An act of being likely to make a mistake is called hamartithia. This is common when we are new to something. It is sometimes inevitable, but we need it to learn, to be the best. Last May, most of our elected senators are political neophytes and they will likely to make a  hamartithia.

One who sticks obstinately and wrongly to his old ways is called mumpsimus. But I think mumpsimuses are no longer common these days. Most friends I have are stylish. I got it from Henry VIII: 'I see and hear daily that you of the Clergy preach one against another, teach one contrary to another, inveigh one against another without charity or discretion. Some be too stiff in their old mumpsimus, others be too busy and curious in their new sumpsimus. Thus all men almost be in variety and discord.'

A nelipot is someone who walks without shoes. When I was young, I tried to be a nelipot. It was not easy. I needed feet that had hardened to endure stones on the road. In the Bible, most people were a nelipot, especially Jesus. Walking barefoot strengthens and stretches the muscles, tendons, and ligaments in your feet, ankles and calves.

Who do you see first after leaving your house? That person you see first is a qualtagh. Of course, my mum is the first person I see when I leave home. She is there to remind me to pray.  She is my qualtagh for my spiritual life. It is pronounced, by the way, as [kwol-tog]. It is from a form of Gaelic known as Manx.  It is spoken on the Isle of Man, and though it has nearly vanished in spoken usage, it is a well-documented word and there is an effort to revive its usage.  Literally the word ‘qualtagh’ means ‘first foot,’  as in the first person to set foot in the house on New Year’s Day, or the first person one met when they set foot outside on New Year’s Day.  It may also be used to refer to the first person a woman encounters after being confined to her house following the birth of a child.

Have you tried xerophagy? It is a diet of bread and water. Last night I tried it. I bought some pandesal from Pan de Manila. I love their pandesal because it is so soft and a bit sweet. I got so hungry the whole night I needed to wake up early to eat my breakfast though I usually don’t eat breakfast. In the early Christian Church, xerophagy meant eating food cooked in water and salt during Lent. Xerophagy has also been practised in prison and in the military as a form of punishment.

I hope you’ve liked the words I’ve picked for you.



Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Only Blinkered People Recoil at Gays

an essay by Roger B Rueda

I was carrying my bag of groceries through to the market exit door when a preaching attracted my attention. It was of a religious sect whose pastor perhaps has poor education, someone who started to preach, yet his humanity, sagacity, and sensitivity are not enough. His voice was blaring from somewhere close. It was late afternoon, so everyone was rushed off his feet. I know this is the time most pastors are busiest, too.

He was preaching a sermon on gays. He was condemning gays for who they are as if gays had a choice or it had been their choice to be one.  His voice was terribly derisive. He sounded like a devil. His existence contained many levels of paradox, I thought.

I came in the jeepney parked before the market.  Two passengers shifted a little as I was meaning to sit down. The senseless pastor continued his preaching. I laid my groceries behind my shins. Then I fished out some coins from my bag. ‘Bayad,’ I called out. Then I looked around. One woman was looking at nowhere with her eyebrows raised questioningly. One woman grinned, delighted at what she was hearing. I looked sullenly at everyone.

One woman beside me opened a talk. ‘So what if someone is a gay,’ she looked at me. Well, at least I got an ally, someone who does not have a blinkered view of gays. I smiled at her and got ready to listen. She continued talking to me and we discussed a lot of things about gays.

‘I need to get off now. Bye,’ I told her. ‘Sa lugar lang.’ The jeepney pulled over. I hurried along the highway, a bit upset. The preacher was still on my mind, I could still hear the echo of his voice. What hurt most was his hidebound view, the bigotry. I tried to temper my emotion, but I couldn’t.

Finally, I got home. I pulled over a chair at table in the kitchen and asked my mum to make me ginger tea. Sipping at the ginger tea, my anger faded away.

***
This year, I have had one student who is very homophobic. I was shocked to know that he was angry with me when I told him that some male models in a magazine were gays.  He dropped my class the next day.

I’m gay, and he knew that. But, well, never did I harass any student I have had. And I couldn’t understand his action. Did he drop my class because he was offended by what I had told him or because I am gay. If he had been offended by what I had told him, I must say that he was too defensive.  If because I’m gay, well, I should have told him that if he wanted a perfect straight teacher, he should try to look for a porter (kargador). What I mean is if someone wants to have a straight ESL teacher, I think he is not serious about his studies.

Anyway, how can I change bigots? Being one is also inborn.

***

Well, of late, I have had much cogitation on gayness. I have tried to think slowly, weighing everything. But it seemed I couldn’t understand how gayness becomes a sin when it is biological and psychological.

For me, condemning homosexuality is discrimination since it is passing judgement on someone that has nothing to do with their personality. Condemning homosexuality is practically the same as condemning someone for being black, a female, short, or old. None of those qualities dictate who that person is as a human being. They are exterior traits. Homosexuality is not something people decide to be. Given the undesirable stigma that most of society places on gays and lesbians, why would anyone choose to be a homosexual? Consequently, being a homosexual is something someone is born with and they should not be condemned for. People just need to mind their own business and focus on their own issues, because no one is perfect.

Passing judgement on something that one is born with is one-sided, indefensible and should not come about. We are not Palaeolithic men anymore.

To those who say it is unusual, homosexuality occurs in more than a hundred species of animals, and of course, while we are not animals, we still don't decide who to love. That goes for anyone in any sexual orientation.

To say it is against God, where is his spiritual faith? How does he know God hates gay people? God might have changed his mind if he did before. That pastor doesn't know because God never sent him a reminder, did he? Similarly, if he’s really that bothered, let God handle it, if he has that much faith in him to sort people he hates out. He needs also to consider that religious interpretations won't always match those of someone else.  I think that pastor has to study more theology, and perhaps psychology.

Homosexuals are people, we are not a sub-species of human beings, and discriminating against us would be like being bigoted against someone for their colour of their skin, or their hair, or for being born a certain sex. It's basic horse sense to treat people civilly.

Derision there aside, yes, condemning homosexuality is discriminatory and should be treated as such.




Saturday, 13 July 2013

Internationalising the Philippines

an essay by Roger B Rueda

The Philippines isn’t poor. In fact, it is a very rich country as our natural resources are boundless and bountiful. Only the minds of some are as poor as a vagrant, lacklustre and unproductive. That’s why Taiwan as a country doesn’t respect us. Perhaps, the Taiwanese think we are an inferior people as what comes out of this country is only bad news about our corrupt politicians, the demolition of houses in the slums, the insurgence and terrorism in Mindanao. Our media has been given much hegemony to be against the government, so its role to internationalise the country in promoting its good side has become obscure, and our government has failed to internationalise the Philippines and its people in Taiwan. See now how they treat our countrymen in their country? They unfairly treat them worse.  They reproach all Filipinos for one mistake, which in the real sense cannot be charged with to the whole country. This shows how parochial Taiwan is. Judging a country on one mistake and involving the whole people as culprits point towards how contemptible they are. Their attitude can be described as petty.

Internationalising our country can provide it with a common sense of purpose and national pride, not to mention a higher standard of living. It makes people in other countries aware of our culture, heritage, lifestyle, tourism, and values. For one, these people’s choices are informed by how familiar they are with our country and whether they have visited it or not.

Every time these people make a decision informed by an association with our country, it creates the future of our country.  When you multiply that with billions of people around the world every year, it can create waves that dictate the shape of our lives for decades to come. Thus, internationalising our country is a must now. Being looked down on by Taiwan is an obvious truth that our government has failed to internationalise our country in Taiwan before. It is, however, a signal that we need to internationalise our country comprehensively not only in Taiwan but also in all countries around the world. The Chinese, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Indonesian, and Thai have to be informed about our best people, our companies, our best cities and places, our best books, our best universities, our best arts, our best festivals and events.

Internationalising our country is internationalising our citizenry as this plays a huge role in the establishment and maintenance of a cohesive national identity, and as such, a population’s strength in education, productivity, health, and happiness undoubtedly impacts its progress. For one, human capital identifies the competencies, knowledge, and values underpinning a nation’s vision.

Filipino music, films, food, soaps, and writings have to be found in every corner of the globe. It’s part of internationalising our country. It’s part of promoting our culture and heritage. It promotes a wider knowledge of the Philippines.

Our books have to be translated into different languages. The mindscapes of every Filipino have to be circulated the world over. We have a lot of best minds in the Philippines. Our literature is rich and wide-ranging. We have F Sionil Jose, Gemino Abad, Merlie Alunan, Leoncio Deriada, Sarge Lacuesta, Dean Francis Alfar, Ian Casocot, Joel Toledo, Jaime An Lim, Cecilia Brainard, Butch Dalisay, Danton Remoto amongst others.

Our people speak English aside from being multilingual, so internationalising our country is plain sailing. We have colonised English since then and we can use it to communicate effectively with the international community. For one, it is essential for the Philippines to win the understanding of the international community to gain an advantage.

We need to promote our military in other countries. Promoting our military in other countries means modernising it and striving to make it stronger if not the strongest. We need to tell the world how our military especially in southern Philippines does its job to protect our country from insurgence and terrorism. This will tell the world how Filipinos and their government value peace and freedom and how they protect human rights. A lot of our soldiers die protecting innocent civilians because the Philippines is not a violent country, so they wage war against these bad elements. To Filipinos, life is very important and they value it.

Tourism is a vital and ever-growing aspect of the Philippine economy, with its historical value and geographical assets which can appeal to tourists from around the world. Thus, we need to internationalise our country in the world that it’s more fun in the Philippines. Through our tourism and heritage, our government can build and strengthen links with other countries.

Teaching all OFWs the best of the Philippines before they leave the country is internationalising our country. Our OFWs should spread good and beautiful stories of our country. Every Filipino, for one, has stories that should be handed down to people they meet abroad. They should experience our country through our stories. Our OFWs (or even Filipinos studying abroad)  should be given brochures, magazines, photographs, videos, and books about our country before they go abroad to work (or to study). When they share them with their friends, they subtly internationalise our country.

Soon when our country is recognised as a place where people are free to live openly, where the rule of law is respected and upheld, where businesses can thrive and institutions are trusted, its image is positioned to grow and prosper, and the only means is internationalising it. Thus, internationalising our country will mean higher wage opportunity at home. When our government internationalises our country, it has to strive to make everything in it better, for internationalising our country means building a good and respected brand for our country.

Internationalising our country helps other countries understand what we are as a country, know us better, and respect every Filipino who visits and works in their countries. The quality and impact of our country the way we internationalise it determine how tourists, investors, and global citizens judge the country we call home – and what are behind it.

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Sleeplessness

a poem by Roger B Rueda

In bed, I’m not lured by sleep
to its home,
the dreamland –
my imagination is like a kite:
I fly it at the end
of my mind.
By the clock
on the wall, it’s 5.52 AM.
Sleep is drawing near,
smiling and waving,
its hugs seductively
warm and easy.
Should I yield to its
sweet caress?
Should I visit
the dreamland
at dawn?
Or should I displease sleep
by pouring a generous
measure of hot coffee into it?





Friday, 5 July 2013

Iloilo State University of Science and Technology (ISUST)

[HISTORY] The Iloilo State University of Science and Technology is a government research university located at 21 JT Bretana Street, Ilaya Poblacion, Barotac Nuevo, Iloilo. It was established on 16 June 1947 as Barotac Nuevo Junior High School, which was opened for the first and second year. It held its first commencement exercises on 25 March 1949. On 22 June 1957, it was converted into Central Iloilo National School of Fisheries (CINSOF) by virtue of RA 1925. On 19 June 1961, it was renamed Iloilo National School of Fisheries (INSOF) and, on 20 June 1963, it was converted into Iloilo Regional School of Fisheries (IRSOF) by virtue of RA 3521. On 21 August 1978, then President Ferdinand E Marcos signed PD 1523 converting IRSOF into Iloilo State College of Fisheries (ISCOF). On 22 August 2000, RA 8760 and CHED Memorandum Nos. 27 and 27-A integrated CHED-Supervised Institutions (CSIs) of Barotac Nuevo, Dingle, Dumangas, and San Enrique, Iloilo into the system. On 11 June 2013, President Benigno S Aquino III signed RA 10604 converting Iloilo State College of Fisheries into Iloilo State University of Science and Technology.

[MANDATE] It is mandated to provide advanced education, higher technological, professional instruction and training in fisheries technology, arts and sciences, education, industrial technology, engineering, aquaculture, seaweed farming, and other related fields of study relevant to national development.It undertakes research, extension services and production activities in support of the development of the Iloilo Province and provide progressive leadership in its areas of specialisation.

[COLLEGES/OFFERINGS] ISUST consists of four colleges that provide instruction in basic education all the way up to the post-graduate levels. In the undergraduate and graduate levels, its covered disciplines include the Computer Studies, Education, Fisheries, HRM, Marine Biology, Nautical Studies, and Tourism. Its School of Graduate Studies offers Master in Instructional Leadership (English, Social Science, Science, and Mathematics), Master in Local Governance, Master of Arts in Educational Management, Master in Fisheries Technology, Doctor of Rural Development, Doctor of Fisheries Technology, and Doctor of Philosophy (Educational Technology).

[FOUNDER] Dr Ferjenel Biron, a Baractanoan himself, is the Founding Father of the University under RA 10604. Soon the University main campus will be transferred to ISUST at Ilaya Poblacion (ISUST-IP) at 21 JT Bretana Street, yet the ISUST at Tiwi will remain the biggest campus of the ISUST System.

[CAMPUSES] ISUST has other campuses: the Iloilo State University of Science and Technology at San Matias in Dingle (ISUST-SM), the Iloilo State University of Science and Technology at Baras in Dumangas (ISUST-B), and the Iloilo State University of Science and Technology at Garrido in San Enrique (ISUST-G) - all in Iloilo, West Visayas, Philippines.






Thursday, 4 July 2013

On My Way Home

a poem by Roger B Rueda

The streets were wedged solid with the chaos
of poorly regulated parking
and near-constant traffic gridlock.
I was on a CPU jeepney.
By the McDonald’s clock,
it was almost six.
Bored stiff, I turned my head
to the garden
in Bonifacio Drive.
There I saw a little sparrow
picking up some grasses,
its dinner.
It was alert to the danger,
watching the passersby.
It had as if a perky,
independent spirit.
Some children were
crossing the street
carrying their McDonald’s
takeaways.
The sparrow turned tail and fled.
Then the gridlock was over and  it rained!

Thursday, 23 May 2013

The Chickens and Humans on the Planet on Which the Devils as Predators Are

a poem by Roger B Rueda

To an outlandish, you’ll tell apart
which the chickens are
and the humans are.
Poke a chicken in the ribs
and it’ll twitter, it’ll yowl.
The other chickens
will cold-shoulder it,
relishing seeing the chicken
in pain and hearing
its misery, its grief.
They’ll even have the chicken.
Chickens are chickens.
Even if some chickens
have been turned to
humans by fate,
they’ll always
be chickens, weakling
and thoughtless,
despicable and facetious.
Yes, they are pets
(or livestock)
osculating the anus of their predator,
snickering and loving
the demise of other chickens,
their temperament
is less than that of the goldfish.
Humans succour anyone,
even chickens, even the goldfish:
Humans are humans – they
hold flairs and
the being of others dear.
Never do they cling to vulturine devils.