Summer Rich Gooey Words

by Roger B Rueda

Well in the main, when we get our own way with others, we do it with words. We almost make others agree with our viewpoint, give them what we want, do what we ask and buy what we are selling. The seduction or attack of words is unremitting.

The words draw out emotional responses that manoeuver other people's thinking and behaviour. Here are some rich gooey extra words for you this summer.

"Accessit" means honourable mention of one who comes nearest to a prize. "Agcalan Point” by Butch Dalisay is accessit of “The Day of the Locusts” by Leoncio P Deriada in the 1975 Palanca Short Story award.

"Aiguille" means needle or sharp point or peak. "Be careful of plants with aiguilles on them."

"Balling" means to have a lot of money. "He's balling now!"

"Bite the big one" means to die or to get killed. "Do you think he will bite the big one?"

"Blast" means extremely fun. "The Harapan on ABS-CBN with vice presidential candidates was a blast!"

"Blaze" means extremely attractive. It is used to describe a person. "That guy is a blaze!" Or it means to be extremely attractive. "That guy is blazing!"

"Bodega" means wine-shop or a small grocery store. "I picked this little thing up at my local bodega."

"Bogart" means to steal or hog. "Don't bogart my cookies!"

"Catch a note" means to get buzzed or intoxicated from some natural substance. "Hey, did you catch a note off of that?"

"Cattywompus" means diagonally across from something else. "Her house was conveniently located cattywompus from the post office." "The wastebasket into which she attempted to vomit, was only cattywompus from her mouth." Or it means out of alignment. "I need to get my wheels aligned. They're sitting all cattywompus."

"Fess" means to waste time in order to avoid confrontation or a potentially uncomfortable situation. "Dude, don't fess. Just ask her out already!"

"Go to town" means to engage in an activity with excessive energy or excitement. "He went to town on that bowl of batchoy." "You really went to town cleaning the house."

"Kickass" means very good, excellent, cool, or awesome. "The Ateneo Blue Eagles is kickass!"

"Old fart" means an elderly person. "The old fart was driving too slow."

"Onion" means a police officer. It is a derogatory term. "The onions got my brother again."

"Pray to the porcelain god" means to vomit. "I was praying to the porcelain god after eating that."

"Quone" means to desperately want something. "I quone a date with Gerald Anderson."

"Random" means an unknown person (stranger). "We met a few randoms at the party in Smallville last night."

"Refry" means a cigarette that has been put out midway so you can smoke it later. "Damn this is my last cigarette, better make it a refry."

"Retail therapy" means a way to justify a shopping trip to cheer you up. "I can't believe he broke up with me. Will you girls come with me to the mall for some retail therapy?"

"Soup" means something worthless, hopeless, useless, etc. "This poem is soup."

"Wail" means to sing well. "Their female lead can wail!"

"Walmart" means inexpensive and readily available but often sub-standard. "I bought that thing last week at three in the morning and it's broken already; it's so walmart."

"What's poppin?" means a greeting, synonymous with greetings such as "What's going on?" "What's the dilly?"

"Xyz" means to examine your zipper. When seeing someone in class or at work with their zipper down, you can discreetly say, xyz.

"Yahoo" means a weird person or an uncultivated or boorish person. "What a yahoo!"

"Y'all" means two or more persons. "How are y'all?"

"Yark" means to talk and talk and talk without end or to babble. "That woman over there is just yarking on and on about her favourite presidential candidate, it is so annoying."

"Zing" means a good verbal shot or insult, or retort to a stupid remark. "I really zinged that liar when he said that!"

"Zoodled" means you've had way too much alcohol in a particular outing. "She's puking—must be zoodled."

Have your shout and murmur at inkslinger215@live.com. Enjoy your summer.

Literature and Lies: Writing, Writers, and Wastebaskets

It's final: The French salon and English pub-themed writing and writers’ tete-a-tete is at Prima City in Dumangas, Iloilo from 1 to 5 May.

Prima City is a three-storey commercial building with a pool that’s owned by the transgressive Ilonggo writer, Peter Solis Nery. Nery is now based in Los Angeles, California.

This is not your run-of-the-mill workshop where participants’ works are discussed by a dogmatic panel. We reverse the process: When you come to the workshop you come ready with your own writing method. You talk about how this method applies to your own writing experience. For proof, you site your pieces (poetry, essay, play, blog, art work, etc) as examples. We react to your pieces using our own writing process so we learn from one another. We don’t believe nor subscribe to any school of writing.

We have invited two English language specialists to take up issues on usage: Randolph Graydon, from Baltimore, USA, and Brian Daily, a British- Canadian. Their job is to react to how you work with the English language and offer points for improvement. If you write in Hiligaynon, Kinaray-a and Filipino, we have other invited writers to help you with that: Mel F Turao, Roger B Rueda, amongst others.

Prospect attendees are college students, fresh graduates, young professionals, bloggers, musicians, artists, book worms, nerds, mad scientists, couch potatoes, movie junkies, journalists and English/literature teachers, who want to have a hands-on experience with how writing is produced by writers themselves. The discussions aren’t strictly academic as there are readings and performances in between the sessions. Wine, beer, and cocktails will be served.

To join, send your softcopy originals as MS Word attachment (poetry, essay/blog entry, short story, play, and a combination of these) in Arial 14, doublespaced to archprankster@yahoo.com. Please include a 4-paragraph bio. We accept applications until 19 April.

Your works will be pre-screened. Discounts will be given to applicants whose works show promise.

Admission fee is Php 600 for students and Php 1000 for fresh graduates and professionals. Your fee covers drinks, food and reading materials.

For more details, email Mel at archprankster@yahoo.com or follow baconbriefs on Twitter.

Boxing

by Roger B Rueda

Our country has been brought together by the one boxing champion who has become the figure of the Filipino public importance since he made a name in sweet science. Most Filipinos—those who couldn’t afford to get the ticket—gather before their TV sets just to witness the spar of Manny Pacquiao and his challenger.

The country has at least forgotten its encumbrance even for a short time. The aptness of the event and the approach of every Filipino towards our fellow are not a concern of maturity and sagacity but I deem it is the right comportment of delight and throwing the torment of misery to a short-term void.

Well, though sweet science is an atrocious game, it is reflecting how human beings are sturdy to matters that entail bodily resilience. It transforms people to be strong and get away from vulnerability—even, for not and no boxers, even in psychological surface. It gives us the optimism in the midst of political crisis and mix-up. It may be a means for the resentment and disappointment of some impoverished Filipinos. For one thing, it is a positive channel for the enmity that perhaps concocts inside the hearts of Filipinos who have been strained to fight in order to endure this life in an unfortunate country like ours.

Since boxing is well liked universally, the Philippines has recreated its name in the atlas. Some Hollywood and local stars are visible at the matches where Pacquiao is. That really means that sweet science and the people’s champion have starny followings—apparently.

Well, the perseity of Manny Pacquiao counterbalances the hardscrabble and the moneyed: He has risen to celebrity and has been loved by his fellowmen and that becomes a decipherable run through uniting all Filipinos as one people despite their status in life.

His playing the game is to please everyone who believes that he is invincible. Because of his winning the game, Filipinos—especially those in diaspora—have identified themselves as an extant people.

For all of us Filipinos, sweet science is perhaps one of the most physically demanding sports of all as a pugilist has to train rigidly and believe in himself. But isn’t it a mock-up of how we should wield our lives now as we struggle against impoverishment? It is. Manny Pacquiao is our nonpareil. He fights with briskness of his blows. He fights with grit and cockiness. Most of all he has faith in God and humility to accept nonsuccess lest he won’t carry the day.

Send your comments to 09068541933 or inkslinger215@live.com.

Prolegomenon of APPLE Grammar

Publisher: CentralBooks
Category:Books
Genre:Reference
Author:Roger B Rueda
ISBN 978-971-691-990-5

A plain and practically lucid English grammar! This is what came into my mind when I was conceptualizing this book.

So: APPLE Grammar has come to fruition.

The book, though enlightening and having passionate cataloging, contains plain notes of how to treat every aspect of grammar to make it understandable and functional when dealing with our verbal communication.

I want to share with all students that English is a thrilling language if we treat each of its part and grammar component meticulously.

It is like mathematics or science or any other disciplines. Every structure and arrangement of words has bases and explanations. That if we scrutinize and dig deeper into the nature of the language, we can attest a lot of things—possibly, higher responsiveness and the art of using it. For one thing, English is not at all irrational without any reasons.

If it has irregularities, these must be taken down and learned by rote to have constant standing in terms of how we deal every problem we stumble upon. And this book is what I have noted down for years as a literary writer and ESL teacher.

English grammar descried by me, the book has been written based on the need of English teachers who are aware of the principles, sense, and characteristics—of the language, but not very in-depth and chock-full. Thus, many English teachers bring in some grammar rules, but they fall short to teach to which periphery the students have to apply the rules—and what other ways are likely or germane. It means that an exceptional rule if there is must be taught to the students. And this book does.

I have observed this vacuity since I was a high school student. And this has been a difficulty to me since I started to write poems and short stories.

Even how intelligent a student is if he/she is badly informed about the rules of grammar, there is no way that he/she can write naturally well. He/she needs to base his/her writings or oral point on the formalized and customary grammar of the English language.

I find English irresistible. Thus, I want to make everyone love it as well.

A lot of editing has been done just for the book to have superb contents. That is because in my first book, the giving of every concept is too technical and I resorted to deep cataloging.

Outlining over and over has been made to put the presentation of concepts in order. That is to uphold the students’ learning to arrive at the understanding and using of the English grammar productively and inventively.

The book is not claimed by me to be just the thing because I still consider changes as time rolls on: I always think the best approach to impart my knowledge to all students who are serious about learning the grammar of the English language.

Bring APPLE Grammar into play in its entirety and internalize what I have kept count of here.

—Roger B. Rueda
Quezon City, Philippines


Get a copy now. Call or text message 09068541933 or email address inkslinger215@live.com.

Hot Globe

by Roger B Rueda

The only time I can watch BBC or Fox News Channel is when I am done watching some of my favorite TV soaps on Channel 9. Early in the morning while sipping my Bon Vivant java, I watch news and this starts my day.

Well, it is disquieting to see how environmentalists have projected the impact of global warming on this country, on this planet. How the environment in the other parts of the world is giving up—denuded and all done in.

Quite surprising because I was busy and never did I think about such news that this world is near its end. Inside an edifice enshrouded with thick glass and concrete materials (and air-conditioned), who would think that the world we have is being smoked and roasted by the inexorable activities of humans?

And who in his/her right mind would dare stop all human beings of what they do? I think a bit of news is not enough. This could not spur people to take heed on this problem. Thus, many countries possibly are thinking of ways to stop global warming in a different way still just to give way to business. Having no existing business, this world, I think, may be dreary, too. But let’s weigh against: tedium in between or saving of Earth—which one will leaders prioritize? I don’t know, either.

Global warming is one of the most serious challenges facing not only the people from other countries but Ilonggos (and Filipinos on the whole) as well. To protect the health and economic well-being of existing and future generations, we must diminish our emissions of heat-trapping gases by using the skill, competence, and sensible ways out at our politicians’ disposal.

Our leaders must have the expertise and inventiveness to lessen the danger of global warming in our day—or at least fretfulness about this matter. During their campaigning here in Iloilo City, how about asking them the global warming solutions they will be making available to stimulate the Philippine economy by creating jobs, saving consumers’ money, and protecting our national safety.

I hope our acts must be put into practice. For one thing, using energy more resourcefully and moving to renewable energy (solar, wind, geothermal, and bio-energy) would radically reduce our emissions of heat-trapping gases. For one, the burning of fossil fuels releases large amounts of carbon dioxide—the leading cause of global warming. However, renewable energy does not; increasing the share of our electricity generated from renewable resources is one of the most helpful ways to reduce global warming releases.

And, by the way, have you noticed that the cars and trucks on our constricted street are another significant source of carbon dioxide emissions? A serious effort to address global warming must consequently reduce emissions from cars and trucks. A few technologies already exist can do this, while our country (or our companies) also create new jobs in the automotive sector and other industries throughout the nation. Where is that invention with which cars and trucks can be run with water? I think it is a creation of a genius. Through the earnest initiatives of our politicians our country could save billions of pesos on gasoline, and we could shrink our dependence on foreign oil.

If we can’t carry out any solution to prevent global warming, possibly we need to eradicate cars and all that cause the harshness of hot globe. What do you think? And what for that this country has a government and politicians?

Anyway as commonplace city dwellers, at home, we, Ilonggos, have to replace all our customary incandescent light bulbs with super efficient compact fluorescent bulbs. We have to turn off and save antique refrigerators. We don’t have use our microwave more often if we only need to heat small items. Turning on our stove to heat up water can be easier and cheaper in the microwave.

Turning our computers to a more efficient mode helps to conserve power. Whether at home or work, turning our computer to hibernate mode or low power mode conserves a considerable amount of money and energy.

Buying solar equipment is also a good move.

Reducing the numbers of hours in the car by biking and walking more and consolidating all of our trips into one trip throughout the week, or using mass transit are also a help. If you can save 20 miles a week, then you just save the earth of carbon dioxide emissions a year. And it is nice a feeling to keep our body especially our legs fit. It’s healthful.

By changing some driving habits, we, Ilonggos, can save on fuel that is by avoiding driving during rush hour if possible. By wasting less time sitting in traffic we save on all that gas spent idling. We have to drive the speed limit: Car fuel efficiency drops sharply over 55 mph. We have to keep our car in top order: A clean air filter and as it should be inflated tires on a well serviced car will save big at the pump.

Not everyone flies, but if we’re frequent flyers then taking two or more flights less a year can seriously reduce emissions. If we don't fly but drive for vacations—how about trying taking them closer to home? By driving less, and using mass transit such as a train or bus, we can save greatly on traveling expenses as well as the environment. If we must fly, then our alternative is buying carbon counterbalances in exchange for the emissions spent.

On VCO

by Roger B Rueda

Now I am going to embark upon this oil which I have become aware of since two years ago when I bought some bottles for my mother—the virgin coconut oil, which is quite extortionate though the substance used to manufacture it is not from overseas as coconut is the Philippines over.

I am caught unawares by its safety and effectiveness. I have taken notice that a lot of companies have sprouted telling the consumers that their VCO is the best or extra virgin. Is there such an expression for that and what standard has been followed to say publicly that one brand name of oil is extra virgin?

Well, some traders and producers of virgin coconut oils call their coconut oil “extra virgin coconut oil,” but there are no other procedures used to make coconut oil other than the common procedures, so this categorisation is just capricious. Oh, too scheming. Between “virgin” and “extra virgin” as there is in the olive oil business, I know there is no authorised sorting or differentiation, since the two oils are wholly different in fatty acid composition, harvesting procedures, and macaronics as to some other field. So, if they can do this, then I doubt if these companies are ingenuous in telling of the genuineness of their product and the devastation of it as well. For one, the oil has not been tested for a long time that indeed it is good or that it is safe and the consumers have nothing to worry about. There might be some side effects or post-effects during or after a long time of using it.

Like of the purified water, the prices of this oil are so steep that no more underprivileged people can have enough money to buy it. How paradoxical that people who benefit from the wonder of this oil are foreigners or people from other countries and not Filipinos because of their financial powerlessness in affording the merchandise. Well, don’t they know that a lot of Filipinos are helpless and that if they see the condition of these under the weather people they might not exorbitantly outlay their product which is obtained from an inexpensive supply and that in a long run might not make them taken to the cleaners?

Take in this: If it is factual that such oil is superior, why don’t our companies subsidise a mass production of the item for consumption to make it within the means of many Filipino families/consumers so that we can guarantee the fine feather of our human resources? For one, it is a general knowledge that coconut trees are all-over and not the thing being projected by VCO companies. They should have concern with the people who might only be helped by the therapeutic wonder of this oil. They ought to think back that to serve the best part of the people of this country is their most important sour grapes why they do business.

Virgin coconut oil can only be got by using fresh coconut meat or what is called non-copra, but this doesn’t put up with that skyrocket-pricing. Chemicals and high heating are not used in additional refining, since the normal, pure coconut oil is very stable with a shelf life of several years. So, I presume companies which sell this oil must have sense of right and wrong.

I think they should be friendly to poor Filipino-consumers and should apply reasonable pricing.

Have your say at inkslinger215@live.com or 09068541933.

Womyn

by Roger B Rueda

March is the womyn's month. And there should be one to diagnosticate their contributions in nation-building. They get comeuppance as most of our key posts in the government and private offices nowadays are held by womyn.

Well, womyn these days have been holding key roles in our society. They are respected as men. They are entrusted because womyn like men are also shining at and competent or more than men, I must confess. But of course some do not because of the belief that men are suprahuman than they are. Men, they believe, are overlying to them.

In literature just for, amongst male national artists, there is Edith Lopez Tiempo. Her works are beyond compare: her poetry and fiction are collective—yet singular, too. One can find explicit emotions because her works have fathomage which I look for a literary piece. Her writing presents a dissimilar purple prose and her legendary theories are so sound. I mean she is level-headed of how to capture the microfiche of today's world and fossilise it into humanities. As fictionist, she is as honourably insightful. Her novels consist of A Blade of Fern, His Native Coast, The Alien Corn, The Builder, and The Jumong.

I take pleasure in reading Jessica Zafra, too. She writes with ardour though delicate because of her synthetic words. She dredges novel words and dumps them into her readers' common sense. I mean if one were Jessica's bookworm, it wouldn't be considerable to him/her if she used bare words. It should be too big for one's britches yet with verbiage on the ball. She has a lot of reads at bookstores. Jessica wrote Driven: How to Make It in Philippine Business and Fruitcake.

I also love Rosario Cruz Lucero's history-based fiction. Speculations and real stories of the past are given life in her fiction which most of its locales are during those times of sugarcane cutters in Negros. Being used to inner-city stories, other young writers and I have to see the sights of her fiction. She is like dredging out antique-like stories and saving it to young readers' wits. She authored two collected works—Feast and Famine and Herstory.

Lakambini Sitoy's stories are focussed on the urbanites and urbanism. She is one of the voices of today's generation. She has neoteric styles. I like her phraseology, too—it's planate. She has published two collections of short stories in the Philippines—Mens Rea and Other Stories and Jungle Planet.

I moon over Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo. I like her Sojourns, Skyscrapers, Celadon and Kimchi, I Remember, and The Path of the Heart. They are extraordinary kinds of autobiographical/travel writings. She has been writing for Philippines newspapers and magazines since she was all of fifteen. She has worked as a writer, editor, and teacher in many countries. Her attractive daily life, the corollary of her husband's fifteen-year tie with UNICEF, is revealed in her writing. Her critical essays replicate her concern in fictional writing by Filipino womyn. They provide a much-needed involvement to a just beginning body of feminist letters in the Philippines these days.

Merlie M Alunan is a great name in Philippines writing. She is all there. Her poetry is intellective. She edited the anthology Fern Garden: An Anthology of Women Writing in the South. Her book Amina Among the Angels is out-of-sight. She serves as a panelist in respected writing workshops like the Iligan National Writers Workshop.

Zenaida B French's poetry is highly wrought and tender. She is forbearing of her ideas, yet she does not close the eyes to literary conventions. Have you read some previous issues of Free Press and Busay? Then you can say that she is, undeniably.

The 2001 presidential service awardee, Dr Maria Jade B Catalan, a past dean of the ISCOF graduate school in Tiwi (Barotac Nuevo, Iloilo) is another great woman I know. She is full of life and always rushes for a result. She is altruistic: a lot in the government now have their master's because of her programmes. It is because she has innovated courses which fit to the modern societal setting—and wasn't afraid to sell her ideas though the school has a so unlikely geographic location. On the other hand, she transcends for brilliance. These days, she manages ISCM where one can review for his/her TOEFL, TOEIC, and IELTS. She has an affordable package, too, to those who want to enrol a course in Spanish or French. (For more information, call ISCM at 5094498 and look for Rallyn.)

Well, the country's CEO is a woman, too. She is a whiz at economics and government administration. I know she is so professional in dealing with our country's crises in many slants. The economy has been the centre of her presidency. The tax measure has boosted buoyancy in the government's fiscal power and helped buttress the Philippines peso, making it the East Asia's best performing legal tender. Consistent with international mission, president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is a member of the Council of Womyn World Leaders, an international net of present and former womyn presidents and prime ministers whose undertaking is to mobilise the highest-level womyn leaders worldwide for communal action on issues of serious importance to womyn and evenhanded growth.

In TV industry, newscaster like Jessica Soho is ever reputable and well-loved by her viewers compared to her other male counterparts. And her programme Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho is proving out. Too, Ces Drilon who was held for ransom for nine days after being abducted alongside two ABS-CBN cameramen while in Sulu. She is so courageous a woman.

At university, I apple polish my female professors save the three, because they are so detailed and clear-cut. They are artistic yet particular.

There are a lot of womyn that are worthy of to be lauded in this column yet of course I need a sizeable room in this paper—and a biro full of ink.

***

P.S.

Being a feminist, I choose "womyn" instead of "women" because I want to replace the "men" thing into something that differentiates womyn as another entity equal to men. I hope this variant spelling will earn currency and will become a popular variant. My basis is Oxford Pocket Fowler's Modern English Usage, 2002 p. 616.