Never can I be an atheist anymore, I think. I got this thinking while watching Bottomline on ABS-CBN. Well, perhaps, I’ve become mature now, for then there was nothing I could do about many things - I’d just have to put them down to experience.
I now live my life, recognising my magical existence, trying to be glad for the dreamlike life about me, so I’ve plumped for committing myself to the mystical pathway, and I think I’ve managed to grow: having arrived, I look backwards, remember the beginning of my journey, and laugh at myself.
God uses lonesomeness to teach me about living together. Every so often he uses antagonism so that I can understand the immeasurable importance of peace.
At other times he uses boredom, when he wants to show me the importance of undertaking and leaving things behind.
God uses quietness to teach me about the restraint of what I say. At times he uses lassitude so that I can understand the value of waking up. At other times he uses illness to show me the importance of wellbeing.
And now and then he uses death when he wants to show me the importance of life.
God has remained elusive for me even how much I tried to know what his design is for all of us. So, to define him I just believe that he is elusive because he is. His ways are only his – he is a god of random. He is a god of subtlety, of irony perhaps. He is a god of balance. He balances everything and his love for us despite our inadequacy: that’s why he can’t just start all over again creating another perfect creation. His love is patient, compassionate, and enduring. God is not a god of one part but of everything: his blessings and floggings are given to us based on what makes him a true god and not who he is not, all together. Everything is based on his perspective and not ours no matter how logical we are.
For me, deciding to be an atheist is like committing suicide as early as the death here on earth and the life in heaven. Atheism is stupidity - lack of wisdom, I'm afraid. Robot-like, an atheist has no depth and transcendent perspective.
Life is poetry itself. Reading life as a poem is a challenge, but like so many other things, it takes practice, and your skills and insight improve as you progress.
That’s why we cannot make someone love us - all we can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. No matter how much we care, some people just don’t care back. It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. We can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, we’d better know something. Either we control our arrogance or it controls us. No matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion dwindles and there had better be something else to take its place.
Then, from time to time the people we expect to kick us when we’re downhill are the ones to help us get back up. Sometimes when we’re angry we have the right to be angry. True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way we want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love us with all they have. Maturity had more to do with what types of experiences we’ve had and what we’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays we’ve celebrated.
Other things, our family won’t always be there for us. No matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt us every occasionally. It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others - every so often we have to forgive ourselves. No matter how bad our heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for our misery.
Our upbringing and conditions may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. Just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just since they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
The last I have observed are we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change. Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something perfectly different. Our life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know us.
Life like poems speaks to us in many ways. Every day, we find a sense of discovery, of surprise. The same is true of poems. The most magical and wonderful poems are ever renewing themselves, which is to say they remain ever mysterious.
As believers of God, we need to grasp, to connect, to understand. Some magic, some satisfaction, some ‘ahhh!’ is one of the rewards of believing the magic, irony, and ambiguity of God in this beautiful poem of his I call ‘life.’
We need to shape our thoughts through this magic in our midst. We need to see simple details that can have meaning beyond furnishing a world.
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